Score-pocalypse

It might not seem immediately apparent from this blog but I get paid to write. Features, news; that sort of thing. And also reviews. They're the most interesting but not because of the insightful opinion and carefully reasoned arguments I so carefully agonise over wording just so. No, it's because, whatever I say, it all boils down to the number at the end. Whether it's 2000 words or 100, all anyone cares about is the meaningless, unquantifiable number.

Not literally unquantifiable, obviously. Numbers count, that's what they do. But make it a number out of something and it becomes an arbitrary, abstract value. Six out 10, 47 out of 100, four out of five. Make it a score and the whole concept becomes about as fruitful an exercise as collecting gas in a net. Recently I reviewed Resident Evil 5. I gave it 8/10. In one forum I found discussing it, the overall consensus was that the game must be really broken to get an eight. Expectations were so high that this was seen as a failure. Wow.

The problem is that scores seem to have become a statement rather than a point on a scale stretching from very bad to very good. Games like Resi 5 and other big hitters have to land in the 'very good' range - a nine or ten, - in order to be seen as worth playing. Average or okay is disastrous. One of the posters on the forum went so far as to say, “An 8 for a cover game of this magnitude from OPM is a bit of a shocker. I'm getting the Angel of Darkness vibe from this (as in they want to mark it lower but they feel they can't). Not looking forwards to the game”. Eight out of sodding ten! It got the score it deserved and one that means it's a great game worth checking out.

If I had to blame anything it would be fan boy mentality and the internet. The first part sees people over scoring games they love to validate their opinion – the numbers aren't unbiased assessments of worth, they're flaming torches waved over head to ward off heathen non-believers. While the latter part means the wealth of reviews, figures and aggregators flooding the web leave reviewers having to court controversy to get noticed. Either way the system seems near to crippled with the only values that have any value being seven (fail), eight (not worth buying), nine (acceptable) and ten (good). Science uses a standardised system of units and measurements to make sure people talk the same language. I'm starting to think reviews need something similar. That, or I'm going to use arbitrary objects to grade everything from now on. (Which would make Resi a Philippe Starck juicer)